alright chors

haha.. In response to one of my best buddy's request, I will stop being so lazy and blog more. I know you love me chors and wants to know more about my life.
So whats new. Had exchange with RMC, royal military college of Canada this weekend. It was really interesting. This canadian cadet stay with me the entire weekend and we got to find out more about each other, and our countries. Canada is a cool place, would love to visit there some day and look for my new found friend. Played a waterpolo game against the canadians too, completely destroyed them. (after giving them a huge deal of chance too). haha. I hate to say this, it's undiplomatic but they really sucked.
Highlight of the weekend, brought the canadians out to NYC last night and had my first alcohol in the United States since i turned 21. It felt so good drinking legally here.

I'm so looking forward to the weekend.. LA!! It's going to be so awesome. And raffles polo guys listen up. I miss you all so much! can't wait to go back and hang out with you guys in the summer. 5 more month and I'll be back. Miss making fun of jian and his mum, miss making fun of boi and how small and black he is, miss making fun of bryon and how fat he is... just so much memories that I really treasure and can't wait to relive! Home..I need to get over with this west point thing and be where I need to be...

..........

It's been a long time since I wrote anything here. My life has been peaceful on the surface but turbulent beneath. A different array of thoughts were constantly bothering me for the past few months.

Event's update first maybe. Successfully completed my first semester here at the United States Military academy. Did pretty alright for the first semester. I have a 3.97 GPA out of a highest possible 4.33. 3.97 is decent I guess. Christmas break back home was awesome. After being away for so long, it was just joy and warmth seeing my family and friends again. Sucks to be back here though. Although it feels alot better than the first semester maybe because i'm more or less used to the life here.

Emotional Log....There is this thought that kept pestering me. I feel like I'll never be able to walk out from the shadows that she left behind. not her in particular though, it's more of the shadows that the experience left behind. I wonder.. wonder if I am still capable of falling in love again, the same way I did for the past 3 years. The combination of memories, fear, fear of being hurt again is inhibiting my love cells from committing again. Will I be able to commit to a relationship again?? that's the question that I have been asking myself. Maybe because the right girl for me hasn't come around yet. let God has his ways with me ba.. that's all I can think of to comfort myself. Trust him...

Finally, I'm 21. looking back at the past 21 years of my life, I see some good things, and I see some bad things. Joy, happiness, satisfaction, pain and tears were the things that added color to what will otherwise be a dull and boring 21 years. I have my regrets, but again, without doing those wrong things for me to regret, where's the meaning to life, how else will I learn. I guess that's what life is about. Culmination of success and failures, through both we learn and grow. on my 21st birthday, alot of people wished my happy birthday. but the few that I really want to hear from did not even show signs that they actually remember. SAD!! Again, bringing me back to that whole emotional turmoil. Will there be another girl who will be able to lift me up from this slump and see the light at the end of the love tunnel again?? Let God tell me...

torn apart

I have been feeling like this for a long time... The logical reasoning cells in my brain tell me to LET GO.. But the emotional cells in my heart says no. I feel like I'm torn apart.. What should I do?? What wrong have I done to deserve this?? Sighzz, I need to be stronger.. Looking forward to Christmas.

updates..

November is here.. Which means, thanksgiving is coming up and then christmas! The long awaited break followed by my first visit to home since i came here. Nothing much has happened the past few weeks. My tooth is still there in my mooth, although it's still pretty shaky. It hurts some times but it's not really bothering me anymore. November is a fantastic month if not for all the WPRs and the projects that the dean has decided to put into our schedule. I'm getting more and more stressed as those deadlines for projects come closer. The motivation that I had at the beginning of the academic year has somehow died away and I am feeling burned out. I need to find that motivation back to maintain my grades in all those classes that I am already doing well and to do better in that one class that I am not fairing too well in.

On a side note, I still randomly think of her some times. All those memories that I have in my mind never seem to be able to sink down lower into the priority of thoughts. Perhaps, I was thinking, I need someone else to take that place in my heart before I can completely erase her from my mind. Maybe... Perhaps... I don't even know the answer, let time tell me what will happen.

Beat the Dean.. And hopefully, army beats navy when we go down to philadelphia 4 weeks from now. God bless me, and bless my family and friends.

World of coincidence.....

I just lost my TOOth! I was at Connecticut college this weekend playing waterpolo. The last invitational tournament before States Finals this weekend at West Point. We played the host on sunday morning, our last game of the tournament. It turned out to be more like a street brawl because of the unprofessional players that was on the opposition team. They started out rough and physical right from the beginning. As we start to show our strength and ability to win the game, their frustration went out of control and they started hitting us. I blatantly recieved a punch to throat as I was guarding the Centerman from C.C. In my 8 years of waterpolo experience, I have never seen that happening before. Blatantly punching an opponent above the concealment of the water surface. The refree's call was more ridiculous, apparently he saw what happened because he called for the offensive foul. However, he did not award the player a permanent ejection from the game for brutality, neither did he give him any warning. Strike 1!

At the start of the 4th quarter, that kid went back to his old ways again. This time, he chose a different weapon, his head. As I swam towards him to pressurize the pass, he turn away from me and threw the back of his head into my face, full force. And so, there goes my front tooth. Broken into half from a little bit out of the gum. My lips swell like a ball and bled like a blood tap. My captain almost killed those bastards from connecticut college. He was right! we didn't join the army to be a bunch of pussies, we joined the army to kill, assholes.

So there I was, without my front tooth and bleeding profusely. I was told to change so that my coach could bring me to a dentist. While on the way to the dentist place, I heard the news that my team mate actually found my tooth underwater and they brought it to the dental clinic. After 3 hours of breathing in the "laughing gas", which suppose to make you numb and react slower to stimulus, I finally got my tooth attached back. It still hurts like a bitch though...

You should understand the irony and coincidence behind this whole incident. Sighzz...

.........

I don't really know what to put for the title.. It's been a long time since I blogged. It's really really busy here at west point now. School work here is quite stressful, we make use of the thayor method here where we have to do homework before the professors even teach the class. I'm taking Arabic, math calculus, american history, IT and some nutrition and fitness class for this semester. Arabic is pretty fun, learning alot about the language, culture and all about the Arab world. The relevance of those knowledge in the world now is apparent. hahaha water polo is fun. I travel around every weekend with the team to play tournaments. I have been to NYU, Villanova in Pennsylvania, and I'm going to Yale next week. The free travelling is awesome, and the opportunity to visit other universities is really good.

Digital post it notes

Found out that we can have little cute digital post it notes on our computer desktop. It's so convenient and practical at the same time. The first thing I wrote on the first note is hatred is the destruction of the seeds of friendship.

It is always better to have a friend than an enemy. God bless my family and my friends.

New York City

Somehow God made me realise this cliche saying, never point fingers at others because when you point a finger at others, four other fingers are pointing at yourself..

Alright enough of serious stuff.. I just came back from New york city!! It's such a shame that I only got to visit NYC after being in the United states for a whole 2 months and 5 days. I almost formed an impression of the states based on west point and thought that this is how big America is. haha.. Just kidding. But really, I wish I could have been to "the city"(what we call NYC here)much earlier. Simply because it is more or less a symbol of this country that I am going to live, study and do everything in for the next four years.

To be honest, NYC is not as impressive and awesome as I imagined it to be. The hollywood movies have apparently created a total misconception in me of NYC. The high rise buildings and human density conincides with the mental picture that I have painted inside my mind, but the hygiene conditions in general of the city was a absolute mismatch. The city is full of trash, clogged sewage along the side of the streets and cigarette butts. The subway trains looks old and dirty as well.

But overall, I would say that I enjoyed myself in NYC. I guess it is a time for me to experience a different culture in a large city built based on a totally different concept from those that I have lived in before. The building density here in NYC is ridiculous. There is literally no gap between one building and the next. I don't even think an ant can get from one street to the next without going around the block of buildings for about 100 to 200 metres. Look at the pictures and you will know what I mean.

Chinatown was a interesting place in NYC. The best thing that I found there was guess what, SINGAPORE food. I kept pestering the boss asking him whether he is Singaporean or any of the chefs are Singaporean. I have left home for too long and the inbuilt instinct of trying to find a fellow Singaporean is causing this reaction from me.

Alright I will let the pictures do the talking because I need to go back to studying. GPA 4.0!

Random

Had 2 days of school and kind of enjoy going back to studying again. My brain feels like it is starting to work again which is a good sign. My goal here is very simple, to do well and be the best that I can be. The me who used to be playful, and maybe even sinful is gone! I have made up my mind to dedicate my time to studying, picking up knowlegde, skills and build up my character and make the best out of my 4 years here at west point. I need to put an end to repeating the mistakes I have made in the past and really move on to a new chapter of my life. I will be an adult in 5 months time. 21 years old.. It's time I grow up. Miraculously for the past 7 weeks, God has touched me so much. I went for the services during basic training every sunday and honestly alot of the times, it is God that gave me the strength to push on, especially during physical training sessions. God has also made me realise what an jerk, a unfilial son, a bad man I have been for the past 20 years. That shall be put to a complete stop. May God, the honor code (A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal or tolerate those who do) and my determination help me in changing myself to become a better person.

To all my friends out there, I wish you all well, and god bless you!
To that special person in my life (you belong to the past but you'r still special, simply because the part you played in the history of my life), I wish you well and I'm glad that you are leading a happy life!

The beginning of a brand new life

Hello everybody, I think I have been missing out from the world for too long. For the past 7 weeks I was at cadet basic training, United States Military Academy, there could have been a world war 3 going on and I won't even hear anything about it. That is the type of prison life that I have led for the past 7 weeks. The training was pretty relaxed. Not much sophisticated military stuff that I have never done before. The physical training was really good though, we wake up at 5am to do PT every morning and we run every other day for about 5 km. Sometimes even more. The military aspect was really basic, learnt M16! Yes M16, a weapon that I was teaching just 2 months back. We had live firing with M16, did section battle drills, mounted operations (this is fun) and urban ops. Let me talk more about mounted operations, this is mainly fun because we don't have to do any foot movement and climb all the big ass hills here in New york. The hills here can be crazy, going at 60-70 degrees incline for like 300 metres. Just absolutely ridiculous, and we had to do route marches going up that kind of hills. Not to mention the heavier Alice pack that we carry. Alright, back to mounted operations, we did 2 sections route clearing mission. With four humvees. 2 of them are Weapon vehicles and 2 are cargo humvees. I was in the last vehicle, I had my head out from the top of the vehicle and had a SAW to fire with, just like how they show in the news sometimes where most of you should have seen, American soldiers patrolling along the streets in Iraq in the humvee.

Now lets talk about the general life and environment here. West Point is a really interesting place. Although being a plebe, which means a first year cadet here sucks. We are the lowest live form around the Academy. We have to greet all upper class cadets, get shit from them and get oppressed quite alot. However, I believe this is the way west point trains leaders. We need to know how to humble ourselves and learn from others, respect others for their experience here and any knowledge that they know but we don't. We need to be able to take insults, and bear the stress and pressure from people working above us in order to be outstanding leaders in the military, in fact everywhere. So although life kind of sucks now, but I am sure it is going to get alot better. And this is what west point is about, I will become that commissioned leader of character committed to the values of duty, honor, country and be a person who has internalised the ideals of the cadet honor code here. A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal or tolerate those who do. I want to make that honor code my life time compass, allowing it to guide me to doing the right things all the time.

On a less serious note, my PT standard is out. I did 92 pushups in 2 mins, 81 sit ups in 2 mins and ran a 12.37 for 2 miles, approximately 3.2km. Which gave me an A on the APFT, similar to IPPT.

Today is the first day of classes. The classroom environment here is really different. I am enjoying myself so far. I will talk more about classes when I have more experience in classes. One last thing, I am taking Arabic as a language and hopefully can do it as one of my double major. Isn't it just so cool. Arabic!! aahha..

This is the beginning of a new life, I realised how meaningless it is to be sad and bothered over someone so not worth my time and tears. I won't deny that I did make a lot of mistakes in the past 20 years, and I caused some of the bad things to happen in my life to some extent, but it always takes 2 hands to clap, and the past 7 weeks allowed me to take a closer look at how big a role the other hand played. Well, who knows what the future holds, I just know that whatever has happened, happened for a good reason and God has a good plan for me. Wait for you is no longer the song that is close to my heart, although it is still a nice song. haha. I am still a emo kid, simply because I like emo songs. It has nothing to do with whatever have happened in my life anymore. I have finally freed myself from the sorrows and the pain that was so pointless and not worthwhile. To all my friends out there, God bless you!